Who is God?

 I've been watching a lot of The Simpsons during this pandemic. It's been fun to watch the interplay between The Simpsons and Christianity. There is a God who is white and has a long beard, but we don't see his face, because, you know, he is God. And while I never bought this view of God even when I was a child, I have heard from others that they do see God this way or they used to see God this way. An old white guy with a big beard, living in the clouds. He's the father of his white son (who was inexplicably born in the Middle East), and in extension the Father of us all. 

I could go through all the reasons why this view is limited, but that's not the question I want to explore right now. The question I want to explore is, "Who is God?"

Because how we see God shapes so much of how we interact with each other and the world. Those of us who, like me, believe in a Trinitarian God, have a bigger task in asking who God is, because we see our God in three separate but united parts. If we're not careful, our conversation can become a muddling mess of three people, but one God. It's amazing how one question leads us into a world of complexity.  "Who is God?"

Our readings for Morning and Evening Prayer in The Episcopal Church have recently been following the story of Job. The book of Job is a theological debate about why good people suffer. At the beginning of the book, God makes a bet with the Devil that Job won't renounce God, even if everything is taken away from him. So Job's children get killed, he loses his livelihood, and he gets a nasty skin disease. It's horrible. Job's three friends come and start talking with him about the nature of God. They try to figure out what Job did to piss God off. Eventually a fourth, younger friend, comes in as well. They badger Job to try to figure out how he sinned, when in reality he hadn't sinned at all, and he was indeed telling them this truth. Job's friends couldn't sit with him in the unknowing, and in failing to do so they were taken aback by God's answer. They were all trying to figure out the question of who God is, and as an extension: why does God allow suffering? 

Job speaks of the deep truth of why we care so much about God. We want to know who God is because we want to know how to make sense of our world. Why is there suffering? Is there an overarching order to the world or is it all just chaos? Is there something we can ultimately trust in? 

In Job, God never tells him why he is suffering. God instead shares about the creation of the world. God shares just how big and impressive the world is, how little we can control it or understand it. Yet, God made all of it. God is above all of it. There is an affirmation of order, even when all feels like chaos. We can have trust and assurance in God, even in the midst of suffering. Not because we understand why we are suffering, but because we have a relationship with the one who orders the chaos. 

To be honest, many of the ways we talk about suffering feel pithy. You can tell someone that the reason they have trouble catching a breath and ache all over is a virus, but that doesn't really answer the majority of the questions asked in their time of need. Physical suffering brings up emotional and spiritual suffering. There is a longing for something to hold onto, something to reach out to in the midst of the darkness. There is a desire for something bigger than oneself, for a higher order. 

This solid rock, this assurance, this higher order, is God. God is bigger than humanity. Besides all the other issues with the image of God as a huge white guy with a beard, there is simply too much familiarity with this human image of God. God is bigger than our human understanding. The man on a cloud is simply too small. God is something deeper and richer. I sometimes describe God as like oxygen, something we need to survive, the one we are reliant on for life itself, even if we don't see it or recognize it. 

Deep in our hearts, there is an ache for connection, to be part of something bigger than this mortal existence. There is a hope for something that continues even as we die away. We want stability and structure in a world that continually defies our expectations. Suffering feels more bearable if we know there is something we can trust when everything else is chaos. This continuation, this connection, this structure and order, is God. 

We often try to draw strict parameters around God and every time we do, God breaks free. We can't control God. God is above us. God parts water, guides by pillars of cloud and fire, and raises people from the dead. God is huge, yet knows every hair on our heads. God is paradoxical and quizzical. God defies explanation. God is mysterious, yet familiar, someone we can have intimate conversations with, yet can never fully know. 

But God still wants to be known. And so God sent Jesus to gain more intimate familiarity with us, to show us what God so deeply desires for us. Yet, as many questions as Jesus answers, more questions pop up that are still unknown. 

My exploration of God is an exploration of life, of love, of scripture and tradition, of some very human realities and some ethereal concepts. I look at all things in the light of the question: Where can I find God in this? Knowing that I, like Job, can never really fathom all of God. 

So this blog is my dive into the deeply worldly and otherworldly. I will dive into creation, redemption, and our source of sustenance, even as I deal with concrete events and realities. This is an invitation for you to join me as I  explore the heavens and the earth with a sense of wonder and unknowing.