A Reflection on Jon Steingard from Hawk Nelson's Disbelief in God

 I don't normally share about these kinds of stories, but I want to talk about Jon Steingard from Hawk Nelson and his deep questioning into whether there is a God. I have to say that Hawk Nelson was one of the bands on my regular playlist as a teenager, so I was curious to see where he was in his faith journey.

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/music/a32944167/jon-steingard-hawk-nelson-singer-not-christian-atheism-god-interview/

I found his reflection to be open, honest, and heartfelt. He was quite purposeful in speaking out of love on the subject and his thoughts are deep. Mostly he wrestles with the problem of suffering, especially the instances of God causing suffering in the Bible, and questions if the Bible is really inerrant. I find his questions to be the same as those wrestled with in seminary classrooms.
I wanted to share my beliefs about biblical inerrancy and the problem of suffering as I reflect on the big questions Steingard raises.

The Bible: I do believe that the Bible connects us to the Holy Spirit and helps us get outside of ourselves so we can learn about and explore God. It does indeed contain all things necessary for salvation. We need these texts to challenge us and motivate us. It is God's Word, inspired by God. However, I do not think the Bible is inerrant. I think part of its beauty is that it was faithfully crafted over centuries and sometimes it even contradicts with itself. And I too have wrestled with why God would cause suffering in the Bible. I remember reading the story of the plagues and exodus as a teenager with fascination and horror. Did God really harden Pharaoh's heart? Why would God do that? I realized that my questions and my struggles with the Bible actually brought me deeper into relationship with God. I believe the Bible opens us up to all our emotions, including horror and disgust. God helps us process these emotions, find our values, and helps us confront where we find these emotions in our lives, because there are many things that horrify and disgust me today. God continually asks us in the Bible to confront the world and ourselves in a real and powerful way. Do I know exactly why the Bible said Pharaoh's heart was hardened? No. Do I see where people are being oppressed by others who have hard hearts today? Absolutely.

I've also found that if you want to learn about how God deals with suffering, you have to ask people who have been systemically oppressed. I've been reading Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman and it's opened me up to how God moves in the world, walking alongside those whom society deems inferior, whose backs are against the wall.

I've also spent time with Job, which in many ways is my favorite book of the Bible. Here is a guy and his friends trying to process meaningless suffering and they all get it wrong. God, in the end, doesn't give them an answer, but rather affirms the vastness of the mystery of God. Affirming God as a mysterious other doesn't let God or us off the hook for suffering, but it does help me rest in the one who created everything and who is both powerful and powerless, the one who has the power to destroy the world in a blink, could create the New Jerusalem with a snap of the fingers, yet gives the power to us and uses us to work against the oppressive powers of this world, choosing not to take over but let us do it ourselves.

I don't think we'll fully understand suffering until we understand the God who was tortured and died on the cross. The cross is one of the most sacred mysteries, both beautiful and horrific. Every time I think I'm starting to grasp all of what the cross means, I find myself looking at it through another lens, it is like a multifaced diamond that I keep finding new ways to view. It helps me examine the powers of evil and the forces of good, internally, communally, nationally, and internationally. The implications spread from my own heart to our global relationships with one another, like a fractal expanding into infinity.

In closing this exploration, I want to talk about disillusionment. I believe this is at the heart of what Steingard is feeling and expressing. He had one belief about God and how the world operated and it unraveled before his very eyes. He could no longer hold onto it. I believe all of us who critically examine our faith have times of disillusionment. At least I know I have. I've never lost my faith in God, but I've lost my faith in the Church before and still have those moments. I question how or why things are done, whether some churches actually do more harm than good. I've questioned if I will ever fully be accepted or appreciated in it. These questions have helped me to clarify what I believe about the Church as a body, and I see this beautifully broken creation of God. We don't get it right all the time. We're not infallible. We've been wrong before and we'll be wrong again. But if we hold onto Jesus and put our trust in the Holy Spirit, we can still be used for God's purposes on this earth. This is what I cling to. I came to that belief through deep questions about whether I should be going into ordained ministry. I still ask these sorts of questions when I struggle in my ministry. But I have a deeper trust now because I've asked many hard questions in coming to where I am today.
Friends, I invite you to explore, to not shy away from questions, but to confront them. May we all be as courageous as Steingard to ask and question. God's big enough.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Experience of Searching For A Call

I haven't seen too many people talking about the search process for a new position as a clergy person. I think there are good reasons not to talk about it. You don't want to give away identifying features of congregations you've interviewed with but didn't get the position. You don't want the congregation you're leaving to feel slighted because you were searching for months without their knowledge. And often, it's a hard experience to recount. It takes a lot of vulnerability.  But that has been a major part of my life for over a year. It all started with applying to one congregation before the pandemic. The final interview had been scheduled for the end of March and then the world shut down. The process dragged out with them until June. In the end, they picked the other candidate.  Then I went into a flurry of applications. I had already put some out, but the intensity picked up. Many congregations and ministry contexts got an application from me over the pa...
Read more

Dear Grandma

 Dear Grandma, I don't know why you are especially on my mind today. It's not a special day in the timeline that was your life. But as I sit and think of my history, my journey of faith, my exploration of who God is, I think of you. And so I write to you, as I have written several times since you left this earth.  You live in my body in a real and tangible way. My height is your height. My build is your build. When I consider what is healthy and unhealthy for me, I think about you. Even as my body has changed and morphed through my transition, you are still my guide.  Yours was the faith that led to my own. You taught my mother, who taught me. You helped us both explore who God is and how we relate to the one who formed us. You were the one who asked the big questions, whose heart held a strong assurance of the Divine in the midst of chaos. Certainly your faith journey was just as imperfect, just as flawed as any, but you held the course and became a matriarch in the hous...
Read more