Zeb's Exploration of God

 I've been thinking of this question a lot: What is worship? What does it mean to worship?  I would have answered this question a lot differently a year ago. I recognize now how much many denominations and traditions within the Church looked down upon and devalued online worship. We would never have had serious conversations about livestreaming, nor would a majority of people within my denomination experience what it is like to worship online firsthand without the pandemic. Livestreaming worship has been around for over a decade but mostly found in megachurches and some more evangelical tradition. Worship services have been on TV and radio a lot longer than that, but now the ability to join in worship without leaving home is becoming a universal part of Church in America.  To be honest, this shift is necessary. There are so many reasons why people have been unable to worship in a particular building at a particular time that has nothing to do with their devotion to God. M...

  I don't normally share about these kinds of stories, but I want to talk about Jon Steingard from Hawk Nelson and his deep questioning into whether there is a God. I have to say that Hawk Nelson was one of the bands on my regular playlist as a teenager, so I was curious to see where he was in his faith journey. https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/music/a32944167/jon-steingard-hawk-nelson-singer-not-christian-atheism-god-interview/ I found his reflection to be open, honest, and heartfelt. He was quite purposeful in speaking out of love on the subject and his thoughts are deep. Mostly he wrestles with the problem of suffering, especially the instances of God causing suffering in the Bible, and questions if the Bible is really inerrant. I find his questions to be the same as those wrestled with in seminary classrooms. I wanted to share my beliefs about biblical inerrancy and the problem of suffering as I reflect on the big questions Steingard raises. The Bible: I do believe that th...

 Dear Grandma, I don't know why you are especially on my mind today. It's not a special day in the timeline that was your life. But as I sit and think of my history, my journey of faith, my exploration of who God is, I think of you. And so I write to you, as I have written several times since you left this earth.  You live in my body in a real and tangible way. My height is your height. My build is your build. When I consider what is healthy and unhealthy for me, I think about you. Even as my body has changed and morphed through my transition, you are still my guide.  Yours was the faith that led to my own. You taught my mother, who taught me. You helped us both explore who God is and how we relate to the one who formed us. You were the one who asked the big questions, whose heart held a strong assurance of the Divine in the midst of chaos. Certainly your faith journey was just as imperfect, just as flawed as any, but you held the course and became a matriarch in the hous...

 A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a priest friend that really threw me for a loop. He was heavily critiquing The Episcopal Church for always talking about "The Big 5". I wasn't quite clear what all five were to be honest, but two of them that he addressed specifically were immigration reform and LGBTQ+ rights. Now this is someone who politically agrees with me on these issues. But he serves in a congregation of people who tend to be politically conservative. He felt that The Episcopal Church was always talking about "The Big 5" and not talking as much about the Gospel, the need for repentance, for turning to God, and for truly following Jesus. He said repeatedly that one can fight for rights in these areas and not be a Christian, as if that somehow invalidated the need for response from the Church. He critiqued what he saw as The Episcopal Church leaning left and bleeding out members because it wasn't actually following Christ. He pointed to the num...

 I've been watching a lot of The Simpsons during this pandemic. It's been fun to watch the interplay between The Simpsons and Christianity. There is a God who is white and has a long beard, but we don't see his face, because, you know, he is God. And while I never bought this view of God even when I was a child, I have heard from others that they do see God this way or they used to see God this way. An old white guy with a big beard, living in the clouds. He's the father of his white son (who was inexplicably born in the Middle East), and in extension the Father of us all.  I could go through all the reasons why this view is limited, but that's not the question I want to explore right now. The question I want to explore is, "Who is God?" Because how we see God shapes so much of how we interact with each other and the world. Those of us who, like me, believe in a Trinitarian God, have a bigger task in asking who God is, because we see our God in three separ...